ELLI is HER name

Oh gosh~ this is going to be the hardest goodbye in my life. In days to come , it'll be my final debut in Allen&Bryans. Oh gosh~ A farewell party for us, 'Old' Interns % a Welcome party for the 'new' intern + a former colleague. i'll miss these bunch of people (: i'll miss all the things that i have to do from 9am-6pm. Going to the Bank , B Uying Lunch , Tend Recep Area Etc. Take care AP SP KT MZ SK NO CO NAD GC SL CT HS KN FT NISH RIN + my gfs , ADL & AMI . And Hello 2009 !

On the eve of xmas . i was a Bf place. Again , we played Freedom Fighters (: the game lasted for 15 mins which i dont recalled who won. afterwhich , i had a round with his lil'bro , din. halfway thru the game, din was winning sadly i gave up & BF played on my behalf (: later that night, Bf's neighbor had a xmas dinner. His family was invited and ask me to tag along. The food was all nice (: With Turkey which i didnt eat bcoz it tasted different yet new to my taste buds. There were fruits & cocktail plus loads of good food. It was my 1st experience having to join in a xmas dinner (: Spent the xmas at home with family. Bored but still able to spend at least some time with beloved niece & nephew. Got my results today. Gees~ my GPA is 2.4 . haix . i cant advance to Higher Nitec . BUT *smiles* i successfully nail this traineeship (: everything was fine && happening. Leaving Allen& Bryans in 14days , will be buying cards & farewell treats f

the way we celebrate our monthsary. on the Saturday 20122008 we went to the beach in the late afternoon. thought of spending the day together watched the sunset but ended up, i cried. Yet spending the night in your arms watching the stars were priceless. Talked about all sort of things that we wanted (: haix~ On the Sunday 21122008 OUR MONTHSARY. Spend the day at Bf's house. we played PS2 - Freedom Fighters (: BF was cursing & swearing bcoz i kept winning (: Gave him a chance yet he kept nagging saying that it wont be a fair game. Later that night. his family was heading to the Singapore Flyers. and invited me to come along. it was a fun thing though. going to the Flyers with ma, baba, mami, kak bintang, kak nani, abg awie, din, puteri, putera && dearest BF on our 5th month being attached (: i love you bunches, hunny bunny!

Oh gosh! as each day passes by, my last day in Allen&Bryans is coming to an end. As much as i want to leave this place , i feel reluctant due to the friends I've gained && all the bitter-sweet memories with people of Allen&bryans. The day awaits, oh gosh! as always I'm afraid that I'll cry infront of those 20 people who have taught me so much in the working industrial! It has been 1year && 28days since I've started working in Allen&bryans. I've learned about receptionist duties , filings , writing cheques , Emailing to clients && loads more. what I'll miss is the laughter share among us interns , my desk thats pretty messy && everything is in order (: Whoa. never thought that I'll be so attached to the company. haix. too bad , i've got to leave next month as to continue my studies. I'll miss the people awhole bunch!

im officially dearest ' little miss naughty ' Lol (: he gave me that nick since forever, thanks to my cheekiness nevertheless i cant be comparing to him- Flirty cheeky PEPP! Thanks dearest for massaging my aching mens cramps. And to be able to sleep in his arms for 2hours soundly. am loving you still. today in the office , i am all alone - the only intern left. Miera is on MC due to rashes && adeline on half-day due to follow her mom to ICA. Gosh , am rushing things all by myself. So freaking Stressing! hopefully, am able to meet dearest today. needing his lips and touch loads. Lol , sound so perverted (:

Days out with Bf (: Saturday & Sunday. On Saturday , we went out as per normal. Was dead bored when we both remember that we wanted to watch WildChild even since we saw the advertisement. The movie was "two words - Vogue + Attitude! " according to Bf , he gives it 3/5 stars. (: On Sunday , yet again we went out and to the movie theater watched Twilight . It's was Horror-Splendid . Bf gave it 4/5 stars compared to WildChild was it was a notch better (: and the both of us are awaiting for the next sequal. Well to me , both are worth watching for your 10dollars. Catch it & you'll know what we mean (: who else does it like us? four movie in 2weeks + a trip to the zoo - Crazy couple in love that's what we are (: 12 more days to 5months. looking forward to spending time with Bf. Je T'aime (:

Entry was to be up yestarday. Exams Over && School's Out! Jyeah. On Monday itself, got a exam. Damn, didn't study but hopefully all well (: Paper ended at 1030hours. Met up with the lil' rascals at Jurong Point, brought them to watch Movie - Winx Club: The secret of the Lost Kingdom. Was a nice movie, even my 23 years old sister enjoyed the movie. Plus all of us gave 4/5 popcorns like what the papers said so. Later in the evening , met up with Bf. was wandering around Jurong Point seeking for god's knows what (: Finally i told Bf, lets catch a movie . Has been awhile since we step into one too. Bf wanted to watch "Madagascar 2 : lost in Africa" but bcoz i've watch it already. We settled for " Four Christmases" . The movie was great tho' && parts of the movie was so like us. Damn, all those arguments && quarrels we had . But still both of us laugh at it, the stupid part was that Bf lost his wallet! we went all around

i used to thought to myself that i could live without a man in my life . After meeting you , i couldn't last a day without your hugs && kisses . Boy , im so in love with you ! I'm sorry that im always tripping , cursing && swearing almost every single day . Boy , Please spare me for your lecture , your scolding && your nagging . I know you meant well , i know you care alot . Forgive me for all I've cause to hurt you indirectly or intentionally . Thank you for being patient with me despite the fact that i'm always stubborn , crappy , irritating && annoying . For that i love you ! This heart loves you alot . This mind apologies for breaking your heart time && again . This soul yearns for your touch . Don't make me regret my choice . Je T'aime . Happy 4th Monthsary , Saiful Bahri .

Congrats to Bf's lil' brother for archiving Express && his goal to enter Singapore Sport School . I'm proud of you Khairuddin Bin Omar . Such a happy news to be heard . Bf must be proud of his lil' brother as much as i am . The feeling is so strong to leave me speechless when his mom called during my lunch time . If i have enough cash , i'll get him something . Yesterday , called my Form Teacher . Asking about the debarment thingy . and thanked god , i wasn't debar or else what i wanted to archive will be so out of reach . Even so , i already had plans on what to do in time to come . Had a tiff with Bf in the wee morning . Shucks ! Well what the heck , this isn't like the first time we ever had an arguement . If i've known , i'll never had done such a thing to jeopardize your job . Call me a fool for not listening to you . Je t'aime . Boy , we'll see what will happen between us tomorrow ?!

“When there is a great doubt, there is great awakening; small doubt, small awakening; no doubt, no awakening” - C. william Doubts ? Boy . i wish i could tell you . im afraid , you're stress up with work && everything else . i don't want to bother you too much . i know you can't take too stress , you'll break down . i am sorry ! Boy. i promised i won't leave , i promised i'll be here . i'll keep this painful secret all to myself . Boy , Ja T'aime .

i miss my dudes && bitches! I'm seriously gonna do a gathering for my class. missing so many of them. Damn, how i wish i have the money to do so. Met Shaiful , Amirul && Azfar coincidentally at the MRT on Wednesday. t hen met Lina at ECP on Saturday. DAMN! i miss those people! I love you BF. I'll be there , i promise. Enjoyed your company alongside with your hugs && kisses PLUS our cheeky-ness. - 21th July 2008 and counting. -

Its autumn. The leaves has turn brownish && soon they will gradually fall to the surface of the earth ; leaving the tree bare && bold. It's almost end of October. End of the festive month. So much has happened in life which i can never forget. This year is alil' too hurtful for year. Cried too many times during the day && late at night. Memories with whomever , bitter or sweet ; I'll cherish && remember till I've turn senile (: . Moments that I've regret are just alil' too late ; Moments that are too fond to let go . Let it be between me && GOD . Will it be too late to seek for forgiveness ? Will it be to late to start afresh ? Will it be too late for me to change ? Isit too late to learn ? I'm beginning do what's best for both me && bf. A'lil advice from my 2nd sister made me realize her point of wanting me && bf to work. I believe that my 1st sister too , wants the best for me as I'm he

Damn . Cried in the office . Colleagues saw me shedding tears on my desk . I've realized my mistake , to sum it up . A whole load of mistakes . Im sorry . Am at lost . i don't know what to do ? saying sorry is kinda late already . you hate me ! Can i be forgiven ? will you forgive me ? Gosh . i miss the good times . i want turn back time yet keep bf by my side . Bf , i wish i could tell you . i wish you would be here by my side . i so need your hugs && kisses . Bf , where are you when im needing you most ??

Updated. My Open House in Lieu of the Hari Raya Celebration was a total disappointment! invited a whole bunch of people over especially colleagues , ex-jwss [4T1] && outside peeps. Only 3 of my colleagues came over, 5 of my schoolmates of jwss dropped by. Damn. There were enough good foods around. Haix. was pretty upsetting. Mami was angry ; Told us sisters , "Not to do any Open House next year , way too tiring && lack of $$ " Yesterday was our 3rd monthsary. was quite annoyed by BF. Haix. Dear BF, thats wasn't how i wanted us to celebrate our 3rd monthsary. but alas, the night before couldn't been better. i bought a cake to celebrate over at BF's place with his family. ended up sleeping at BF's Place. to be able to cuddle up with BF before dozing off. Ily. Woke up, able to see BF smiling away. just hope next month would be another eventful day to remember. Ily, imy.

has been awhile . since last updated . Raya has been Fcuked Up. with family , DAMN ! with Bf , hardly have the time . Me Busy w work && so is he . Outfit of the year was in Black , 2nd sister insists . 1st day , went to my Mak Long 's place. finally met up with cussy , ira && nadd . missing my guy cussy , tam . After 20yrs (if not mistaken) we went to ayah's side of the fam , was something special tho' wasn't able to see Pak Busu's Fam . 4rd day , Fcuked up. Mom was frust didnt follow us went house-hopping . went to tam's granny place . again he wasnt there , miss u dude . After which went over to Abg Yacob's place then went down to Yishun , Abg Yacob's siblings . Since then , there wasn't anymore house-hopping at all. stayed at home like ---- . I thanked Bf for 101008 . will remember that . tho' promise to be at location at 12.30pm , i ended up meeting him at 2.30pm++ . Its was really something to remind me of other than o

Flags for Sale (Part Two) G Unit Price: $20 Size: - NY Price : $20 Size : - NY Price: $30 Size : - G Unit Price : $20 Size : - Contact me at elli_gal007@hotmail.com OR Tag me up at the tagboard. THANKS

Flags for sales. (Part One) NY Price: $120 Size: - Obey Price: $50 Size: - Bape Price : $35 Size: - Zoo York Price: $35 Size: - Undefeated Price:$95 Size : - NY Price : $69 Size : 7 3/8 Contact me at : elli_gal007@hotmail.com OR Simply leave me a tag

I MISS U. do i love you like how i mention i did? would i love you like i always said i would? will you be there? My head's filled with doubts and my heart's filled with uncertainty. I need you right now, to Burn this feelings lying in me. i need your hugs and kisses to reassure me.

Today makes a weird,fun and memorable memory. On my way to work, i saw my best galfren, becky. had a alil' chat for all times' sake bcoz b4 year end on 2007. we were in alil' tiff up till today. having to talk to her bring back my days in 4T1. DAMN! i miss my class. without noticing, my best pal, shaiful was there too. waved at him, asking him to come over to us but we were in the train as tho we were "Sardines in a can." i remembered that some time last week, i saw another best pal of mine, azfar. we too did talk about getting a class gathering. I miss my galfrens, my best pals and my annoying chinese guyfrens. at work, after lunch. was on the fone with my galfren cum colleague,miera. she was asking abt wat happen ytd. told her frm A-Q wen only to be bother by a FAT Housefly landed on my right eyes. EEeeeeeeeee! my colleague infront me, Rinn was also laughing at my stupid reaction. moments later, that same FAT Housefly was bothering Rinn. Landed on her hair and o

DAMN! i miss dear so much. entry is for missy lost's survey (: 1 ) Where would you go if someone sponsors you an air ticket ? - France, Paris 2 ) What's your favourite thing to do ? - Day-dreaming 3 ) Do you think money can buy happiness ? - you cant kid me tho' w money 4 ) If you were given a chance to receive something, what would it be ? - LOVE (",) 5 ) Things you can't live without : - Family - Dear - Friends 6 ) What are you afraid to lose ? - Those people 7 ) If you win $1 million dollars, what would you do ? - Donate some. Spend some . Save some. 8 ) What do you dream of doing in the future ? - Singer cum actress (Lols) 9 ) List down 3 good points about the person who gave you this survey: - Cute - Kind-hearted - an Ex to my dear (Lols) 10 ) What makes you happy ? - Being with dear, away from stress. 11 ) What type of person do you hate the most ? - Typical malay kids

im sick and tired of those tagboard crap. Yes ive changed frm bad 2 worse! but u pple dun have to hurt me tis way! DAMN. im hurt. yes im hurt! haix.. the convo w bby yestarday nite. made me tink abt those shattered dreams/goals. dear god. give the strength. dear all. i've jst sold off my fone earlier tis wk. i cnt b cntacted. pls msg thru friendster or tagged me up (: thnks.

To: the F***ers out thr who have been giving me crap on my tagboard. GOD DAMN IT! can u pple jst mind yr bloody business? Tis is my life for heaven' sake! i know i've done alot in the past 9mths of 2008! damn. mind yr business. my life has got nuthing to do w u. i live my life for myself and not u bloody haters out thr. im not prefect and neither are u. damn. dlm bulan puasa, korg umat2 islam kutuk. aku tau kesilapan aku. korg siape nk tanye psl kehidupan aku? bila korg dpt balasan korg sdiri dlm Allah SWT. aku tk phm la dgn bdk2 melayu. bitching abt me only mean one BLOODY thing! YOU lack sumthing i have. watever isit, u'll nvr bring me down. bcoz ure afraid of telling me yr name. damn, wat in the world are u pple gonna say? next tyme, jst tag using yr bloody name if u wanna tok dirty y hide? if ure tokking facts y arent u using yr name? STUPIDS.

It's 080908. Nine months has passed so fast. In 2months time, it'll be Hari Raya. Thinking about how things has gone, do i regret? mayb i do. Coz i've lost and gain in possible many ways. i know that i've changed in a manner that i rebel to restrictions. I miss my friends. i miss my secondary life but i know i'll nvr return to that time again. Remembering loads of things such as hw i would spend my valentine's with my Girlfriends ; the Teachers' day celebrations ; inter-class tournaments ; the preparation for Speech Day ; National day celebrations. It's has been 11months since i started tis traineeship thingy. Working at A&B. Loved my colleagues whom have always been thr for me no matter wat. Thr alweas e ups n downs in tis job. Learned so many things in the working life tat only nw i've realised how tough it's jst to earn a couple of hundreds. While schooling in ITE Clem , met my primary sch fren. Has been awhile tho' , loads happened a

What Nor Elliyana Means You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life. You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you. At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irrespons

No amount of sorry would account for the pain and hurt i've somehow shown you . why does it seems like we're getting apart mentally and emotionally ? im here with you because i want this relationdhip to work out. if we're not meant for each other , please show me the slightest hint . i am not her . i was never her to begin with . im just another girl though i often keep things to myself , hiding away from the present problems . it never because im afraid , just the thought of losing you. Wow! all those plans shattered abt marriage , babies . No matter what may happened , please be happy. i've loved you before . im alil' uncertain abt my feelings now . i love you . But somehow , im never to begin with in your heart . her name stand proudly in your heart and with me in your life , you're still await for her return. she was the main objective in your life. im sorry . i really need a time off to think of certain matters arising . i love you .

21.08.08 - OUR 1st Month ((: Yesterday was a day to remember till our 77th days together.. It started with a bad beginning. i was scolded for my poor conduct at work. Cried my hearts out till eyes were Super Red! After which bby came down during lunch hours only with his attitude! I put faces as to im upset yet he's making it worse!! After Lunch when back to the office while bby remain outside around my office, my colleagues started saying "congrats to the 1st month" went over to my table only to realize that there's a Red rose frm bby! Ran out of office to bby. Hugged him hard, wishing him happy 1st month! i Love him! From Me to Him: " It started on 21st July 2008,monday at 2030hrs. Location: VivoCity- Movie theater watched 'The Dark Knight'. Kisses on the very 1st date. The goodies, the jokes. Eventhough we've been together for only a month, alot has happened. The bond we've build, The love that unites us as One , what more amusing is the simil

the memories for the past 6mths w Sufri. yes,there were too sweet yet too dear for me to just let go but to think of the hurtful stuffs that was done to my heart. i rather not talk about it. there's no way that im gonna leave my bby, Saiful for anyone. Its true that we just got together last month. Those promises we made, his family and mine. Yet what's more amusing is that we both share alot of similarities. Sufri was the barrier between us when we first started out. Now, knowing for a fact that im his and he's the one that holds my keys.. I LOVE YOU till god permits

browsing thru my friend list in friendster. viewed my ex-classmates profiles.. DAMN! i miss them so much.. haix.. at times, i regret taking up this trainesship thingy! how i wish i can spend times w my 4T1 galfrens! the gossips,laughs,jokes.. If only i've taken the normal class instead.. going to school w them at Simei.. Wow,that would be something to look forward every single day! haix.. i miss them loads.. im feeling so lost w/o them.. i promise im gonna find a day to go out w u pple!! BUT thanked GOD.. i found Saiful Bahri! i love u,bby!

im moving on.. but still, im sure that im gonna miss u.. yet, memories are too fond to my heart! glad to know that you'll be alright! take care! i guess, i'll give love another chance.. i'll give myself another chance.. to love and to be loved.. i'll find your replcment..

Is this what we call 'LOVE' ? why do we always expect something out of a relationship.. as im on my way to work, i saw couples cuddling in the train. Being in their own world filled with love and only the two of them exists; not embarrassed that eyes of the unknowns are looking at them. i envy those women who have the man that love her just as she is. Not caring what the world would be saying about his women. Wonders filled my brains ; "when will it be my turn?" , "when can i find the guy who wouldn't me shed tears?" . well i keep wondering, finding and seeking for it. Till then, to me : There's no such thing as True Love as it'll never last a life time. The weekends was filled with too much drama. All i can say is that, i suffered the worse heartbreak i've ever experience compare to the 1st , Farhan. The pain, i cant never explain in words. The tears shed because i've lost , a Guy i've loved and a Guy who has always been there no mat

meet my new niece, Siti Hajar Binte Shamsudin. cute rite? hahas. ytd marks the 1mth i known my dear fwd,nazmi. on the 13 july is my 5th mth loving a guy,nottyboy and on 19 july marks 9mth since i've join this traineeship and the fwdship i've gained w 2pmpuan gile aka miera and dilah + 2cuties aka adeline and fatiin. it's july and i've got another 5 mre mths to the end of tis traineeship. hopefully things will go well.

There's is a new addition to my family. A baby girl named siti hajar bte shamsudin. my 1st sister's 3rd child was born into our family on the 7th july 2008 at 2250hrs. *picture will be uploaded tml* i went to visit my sister at KK Hospital yesterday with miera+fahmi and fadilah. i invited my crush to visit my sister too that day. i guess i was missing him too much. instead, i was late and also disappointed. there's nothing i can do about the "untold story" well, yesterday i went back to school aft 3 weeks. i got my results. i got B,B,C and my GPA was 2.6 . it does seems a lil' upsetting but i still got another semester to buck up. even if i dont get to advance to higher nitec, i'll still take that private degree one way or another. life has been hurting of coz like always. but this is how it works. True Love is to love without expecting anything in return. The heartbreaks and tears are all part of the obstacles in a r'ship. it might just worth the whil

it's thursday,7.00pm im still at work, got alil'more to be done. my friends has left for the day, leaving me w a couple of the seniors. hiax. i'll be home soon (: my hart's hurting. i guess it would be best, IF i stop falling into guys like i always do up till today. fancies those guys that could sing to me at least a song, makes me smile just talking to them etc. simply too many, my hart is too fragile; i fall in love easily and i get hartbroken easily too. i would love to be hugged and kissed by that special MR. but i have a long way to go to think of such. guys? nuthing can be said abt them, coz im not perfect. No one is, i dun like to be judged or to judged another based on the appearance. does anyone ever understands what im feeling? this cuming saturday, hopefully.. thr would be a sentosa gal's day out ( Allen&Bryans' interns) w/o my prettygal aka adeline and my chica aka fatiin; it'll only b me, galgal aka miera and nottygal aka fadilah (: pla

i miss u so much. haix. why in the world did i fall in love with you? it pain me jst missing u so much lately. why isit so hard for me to jst let go? i wanna be happy and loved. i hate the heartbreaks and tears shed. i need someone to be there,always there. it has been 1 full week since i last updated. in this one week, everything as been a pain in the arse from work to family even my love life. it's true im single only im loving a guy who i can say,advise me to look for better guy for my love. im always screwing up at work and at home. im apologise,im sorry. this week, work is up till my neck. i gotta ruch things out eventhough my job is pretty much the same things, but it's tiring running here and there all the time. i've been out with friends out to movies, ice-cream hunt etc. but it's really not taking anything out of my systems. i wish there could be someone, jst a simple someone to giving their listening ears and lend me their shoulders to cry on. i have loads of

On my way to work tis morning, i saw this couple boarding into the train w a stroller. As a female species, of coz i was attracted to the guy. only aft awhile, did it dawn to me abt e lil' girl in tat stroller shld b abt 2yrs old. and the couple was pretty much border-line twenties. will i ever be an unwedded mother? Eventhough im not in any serious r'ship; will i ever follow my mom & sisters footsteps? im afraid. Everyting jst seems in place, from the way i've changed. im afraid. thinking abt having a family; well im still too young yet immature and naive. who wld b my MR.? whr will i live in? how many kids wld thr b? but often, i tried to throw those thoughts away. due to "u'll nvr knw wen yr last day wld b?" too much sins are done compared to the good deeds done. LOVE on my b'half is tat it'll nvr last 4eva. haix

in just a day. I've lost two guys. i didn't know tat separation would really hurts. i broke harts yet again. they bid their goodbyes, leaving me in tears and memories tat are to fond to be erase! my goodbye with him; at that playground,i had my last kiss n last hug. sang our 1st song tat breaks my entire hart. talking about our days together that were filled with love,sadness and arguments. we met in a decent way; we ended in a decent way too GOODBYE. my goodbye with he; didnt had any last moments. but i'll remember our memories our favourite meeting location; whr the moon itself witness our love. those sweet messages that brought a smile to my face every morning. i wont discard the items involve in our r'ship GOODBYE. Love can be both hurtful and magical. Often being in love is like on cloud nine, and getting hurt is like your heart is being shattered in million of pieces. Love doesn't end halfway through; you got to work hard to redee

Shld i remove all memories i had w u? SAY, yr tee, yr nametag ,tat mini fireman's jacket, and lastly e ring u brought me days ago? those nites we spent under e moonlight. i dont know.i want them w me, BUT.. whr hav it gone to? "It started with a 'hi elli'.. and it'll never end with a 'goodbye elli'. i promise you." i suppose it's better like this for yr sake. yr happiness and yr heart. Goodbye. i wish.. haix. well goodbye, pls dont go bck 2 old u.

To: mr loverboy. I feel in love w u almost instantly; it was all due to my clumsiness. yes, i'm a gal who falls in love easily. u're a guy w a kind hart; who promise me __________, wen we aren't an item. When i asked u "nvr to break my hart" evryting changes. u told me, "dont hope too much frm him and dont b too compromise w him as i wld regret it". Immediately i cried and at tat very moment,the love i had for u shattered into bits and pieces. I DUN LOVE YOU ANYMRE!! To:mr nottyBOY. Y ou called me ytd. your call broke my heart! u begged me to 4giv u b4 u told me yr news abt 'HER' . for 4 mths, i've loved u while u prayed,hoped tat yr ex wld return by yr side. wat abt me!? wat am i 2 u? you promised not to let a tear-drop roll dwn my cheeks! yet i cried in the office. i Forgive u. To: Mr hawt fireman. im sorry for breaking yr hart. pls 4giv me! i knw im asking too much aft doing u enuff hurt and hartbreaks. mayb wat yr fwds said is true which

im lost in this darkness ;in my own world. i've lost myself. i guess this is meant to be. serve me right for doing all those sins, bad deeds. im sorry. i've lost myself in that game called LOVE. i've broke those hearts to deserve this. my heart's hurting. im sorry. i guess, i got to blame myself. pls leave me alone. im tired; tired of crying! PS: im gone. im dead.

TO: my dearest Mr. S , Mr. A & Mr. H im sorry. i nid a break from all tis commotions. i've tire out myself from doing all tis scandalism,feeling guilty wen im w each n evryone of u! Giv me a break! between 2wks - 2mths. let me tink. let me focus on stuffs i have to. other den u guys. i wan my life bck. i wan my feedom bck. but i do nid sumone. i'll tink abt it. i'll choose e rite guy 4 my hart. im sorry. i cant do tis anymre. im sorry!

loverboy, i in love wu. im sorry for my clumsiness. i dont know what's happpening. im loving u! i want to have u near my heart.

i met a new fwd! **a fwd whose a younger brother to my sister fwd. and i knw him aft a chatroom b4 but didnt kip contact. wat a small world!** yup, we are fwds on the safe side w no love-thingy. he's a great guy one tat brightens my day like my hawt fireman. it's easy to talk to guys on my behalf. i cant stop rmbring abt e other day w hawt fireman in the library. the msn web-cam chat w fatiin was so fun. i miss her loads.. hiax.. life is getting hard by day. i have to make a choice between these 3 guys. mr A, mr S n mr H? but i cant. i dun wanna lose my freedom jst yet and i cant lose focus on my goals which were coz of my family's situations. work has been fun. has been late to work for 3 days straight! hav 2 b early tml. promise is a promise. hiax. i miss my galfwds, thr wld b a gathering tml but i tot mayb one day i'll mit up w all of dem. sorry girls, i gotta work my ass off. i promise we'll meet up soon.

my thoughts have gone haywire like a socket on fire. my heart's broken; i fell flat on my face yet again. A two-faced bitch. i am one who can melts hearts with my simple-self and one who can breaks hearts with a simple touch. unlike those people who judge me as, they will never know what's really inside of my heart! Isit hatred or love that i feel among the guys thats in my life? what i've said are what they judge me as. how about my heart? this heart that breaks every moment its owner break a guy heart. what about my feelings? feelings that was pure and true which people could only see it as though there's nothing in me. how can one judge only based on the appearance? i know i've done too many sins that would take a whole life time to atone. it was my mistake,my fault and i could only blame myself. this is life, nothing would be perfect and there's no way we could have life our way. it's HIM who knows what lies ahead us. i'll pray to HIM. i'll b

SORRY Call me a bitch for all i care.. coz i dun bitch ard other pple life like e way u do,causing hurts etc.. Dun tink i kip quiet all tis while means i knw nuthing! I knw pretty well wat u hav been up to.. it's not tat i dun appreciate.. it's jst tat wat ure doing has gone way out of hand.. FINE, BY ALL MEANS.. IM E BITCH DEN WAT ARE U? Tink abt tat u immature FOOL! Ure clever than me but u doing tis proves tat ure nuthing better like all those minahs! (sorry dun get offended readers) Ending tis entry, life has been tis way to me.. do wateva u wan tat has to do w me, and i promise tat wateva u said,done.. u'll get double of e stuffs that im undergoing.. sorry im cursing pple.. but i cant take it if ure doing things behind my back and being extremely good infront of me..

my heart broken into millions pieces! tat day on 25may08.. my heart broke bcoz of dem..at 1st it was a msg from Mr A tat made me cried,myself had a tiff w Mr H and lastly, i was missing Mr S .. i listen to a mly song Mr S wanted me to listen.. it broke my hart,it really did.. while Mr A, wanted to leave me.. Mr H,he scolded me.. mayb all tis were my swit mistakes.. yes my worse mistakes.. Both my elder and younger sister saw hw bad i was crying my hart out.. i cried so bad tat i cldnt breathe.. it hurts! my heart hurts..i cried frm 2300hrs till 0345hrs,imagine hw swollen my eyes wld b? the nxt day was MONDY.. a colleague asked me,"elly wat's wrong w ur eyes?" all i replied,"Ytd i cry?" I DO DESERVE ALL THIS HURT AND MISERY!

This is Our story.. Abt e special r'ship we had.. From the moment we knew each other on 5 March 2008 AND the moment we 1st met up on 15 march 2008 till ytd, 22 May 2008 at 2145hrs wen evrything went wrong .. I dont knw wat i wld do w/o u.. as days goes by, thr's no doubt that i wld b missing you! i'll rmbr the memories i had w u.. evrywhr i may go, thr r bound e b memories abt u and i.. You once asked abt US wen we had a tiff, pls hold on to tis fantasy we both have! you once said that we were meant to be, u nvr fails to erase my worries.. I cherish the love tat is so tender which seems to exists only in our world.. but like wat i predicted tis fantasy wldnt last 4eva.. it's not bcoz i dun believe in our love, it's jst tat i dun trust myself.. YES, i do love you still, pls dun doubt it! You're precious but i didnt treasure you e way i shld have done.. Let your feelings out! tell me all my mistakes so tat i'm aware of my wrong doings.. im sorry for makingh

Hurt by reality )): Jst like a dear fwd, im down with the sadness,hurt and sorrows.. it's all due to matters of the heart.. Unlike my fwd, it doesnt only consist LOVE.. Yes, i've cried these few days; evry single tyme i tink of that conversation.. my heart breaks and to tink tat im losing someone so dear makes me cry my hart out! Once the person is gone, whr do i seek comfort? to whom can i be childish to? what shld i do? and yes, i've share tis with the guys my hart trusted most.. im not losing sumone i love or sumone whom wld b my future lover?! im losing someone i've knwn since forever! mayb tat person jst joking w me? all i hope is that it shld nvr come true; for i wld really miss tat person so much.. My exams are in 2 wks tyme .. and my brains are dead from all the pressure, stress, probs and emotions. i've got 3 paper to study which may seem easy to other teens.. but im in traineeship , stress that keeps coming frm skool ,wor