#04 - Happy ending
The family portrait.
Alhamdulilah, the dark clouds are passed us now. Things are slightly better now, with everyone gathering for hari raya after so long and our first ever family photo.
Syukur for the goodness that Allah SWT have blessed us with. In Shaa Allah, this goodness will last us a few more good years to come.
As for myself, i am just glad misfortune are happening lesser these days. Alhamdulilah for that. Hopefully, things will change for the better. i do hope for a happier life, to be able to love and be loved. In Shaa Allah, semoga Allah SWT bukala pintu pintu kebaikan untuk kedua keluargaku. amin.
#03 - complicationsThings is life aren't gonna get better , are they ? When the going gets tough and I just have to be tougher to shoulder every little details and misfits that just don't seems right to others ?
As I sit here in this lonely room, maybe it is true. A leopard will never change it spots and no one, be it family, friends even foes would want to see us success in life or maybe slightly better.
It sadden me that little things like this can cause such a misunderstanding between family. I love them wholeheartedly and only the almighty knows how much. It's seem unfair that no matter how hard I try, it never get notice.
I quit. I quit life. I quit living. I quit loving. I quit believe. I quit. BUT who am I kidding? I'm not brave enough to cut myself in sorrows because I grew up knowing right from wrong and I've always had this inside me to prove those around me who look down upon people like my family.
Yes, I am still here; standing proud and tall. However, I'm not strong anymore. Enough words of anger, words of disappointments, words of hatred.
Now, let me live.
Done by little brat~She deleted my #03 - confession entry and replace it with this.
#annoyed #pissed #nuraaliyahisabelle
#02 - FeelingsNo words could sum up this feelings in me. It feels like there a rubberband around my heart and it hurts really bad.
Last night and early this morning. Only kept tears flowing down this face, nothing else matter but to have him all to myself; call me selfish, self-center. I want his loyal attention; I miss being pampered, I miss the random outings, memories we used to have.
I'm desperate to be happy and be loved again. I'm disappointed to have such minimal space in his heart. I would do anything in the world to win him back, even if he isn't the guy I fell for back in 2008 anymore. Bcz I loved him then and I still am loving him, there's never another ever since the first movie date.
Even if memories of the past can't be recall, give me the permission to make new ones with him. I don't wanna lose anything and I don't wanna get this sickening painful feeling in my heart anymore.
Ya'allah, please show me a way back in his heart. One way or the other, I need him back. I need him to remember being himself. Please give him the strength and show him the right path. Show me if this marriage is meant to be. Amin~
#01- ThoughtsHey blog.
It has been quite awhile since the last proper update huh? So much has happen within the year.
There was the anniversary, solemnization, the gym sessions, the confessions and the bitter-sweet arguments.
I can't say that things are running smoothly these past 3 months after status as change to being a Mrs. Well, there are bound for ups and down in any relationships or marriages. And questions of whether I'm doing the right things and responsibility of being a wife?
I've been in doubts but never have I step out of line ever since the day everything change. I want to believe, I want to know and feel that I'm not wrong to feel all those emotions and for acting like a bitch. Nevertheless, I kept my prayers as much as I could and seek advices from those around me but unfortunately, I've lost some friends who I could be someone else and forget the pains I'm going through.
Sabar adalah separuh daripada iman kan? Mungkin Ada hikmah disebaliknya? I just got to keep my faith and hopes up (; insya'allah~