ELLI is HER name

The family portrait. Alhamdulilah, the dark clouds are passed us now. Things are slightly better now, with everyone gathering for hari raya after so long and our first ever family photo. Syukur for the goodness that Allah SWT have blessed us with. In Shaa Allah, this goodness will last us a few more good years to come.  As for myself, i am just glad misfortune are happening lesser these days. Alhamdulilah for that. Hopefully, things will change for the better. i do hope for a happier life, to be able to love and be loved. In Shaa Allah, semoga Allah SWT bukala pintu pintu kebaikan untuk kedua keluargaku. amin.

Things is life aren't gonna get better , are they ? When the going gets tough and I just have to be tougher to shoulder every little details and misfits that just don't seems right to others ? As I sit here in this lonely room, maybe it is true. A leopard will never change it spots and no one, be it family, friends even foes would want to see us success in life or maybe slightly better. It sadden me that little things like this can cause such a misunderstanding between family. I love them wholeheartedly and only the almighty knows how much. It's seem unfair that no matter how hard I try, it never get notice. I quit. I quit life. I quit living. I quit loving. I quit believe. I quit. BUT who am I kidding? I'm not brave enough to cut myself in sorrows because I grew up knowing right from wrong and I've always had this inside me to prove those around me who look down upon people like my family. Yes, I am still here; standing proud and tall. However, I'm not ...

She deleted my #03 - confession entry and replace it with this. #annoyed #pissed #nuraaliyahisabelle

No words could sum up this feelings in me. It feels like there a rubberband around my heart and it hurts really bad. Last night and early this morning. Only kept tears flowing down this face, nothing else matter but to have him all to myself; call me selfish, self-center. I want his loyal attention; I miss being pampered, I miss the random outings, memories we used to have. I'm desperate to be happy and be loved again. I'm disappointed to have such minimal space in his heart. I would do anything in the world to win him back, even if he isn't the guy I fell for back in 2008 anymore. Bcz I loved him then and I still am loving him, there's never another ever since the first movie date. Even if memories of the past can't be recall, give me the permission to make new ones with him. I don't wanna lose anything and I don't wanna get this sickening painful feeling in my heart anymore. Ya'allah, please show me a way back in his heart. One way or the other...

Hey blog. It has been quite awhile since the last proper update huh? So much has happen within the year. There was the anniversary, solemnization, the gym sessions, the confessions and the bitter-sweet arguments. I can't say that things are running smoothly these past 3 months after status as change to being a Mrs. Well, there are bound for ups and down in any relationships or marriages. And questions of whether I'm doing the right things and responsibility of being a wife? I've been in doubts but never have I step out of line ever since the day everything change. I want to believe, I want to know and feel that I'm not wrong to feel all those emotions and for acting like a bitch. Nevertheless, I kept my prayers as much as I could and seek advices from those around me but unfortunately, I've lost some friends who I could be someone else and forget the pains I'm going through. Sabar adalah separuh daripada iman kan? Mungkin Ada hikmah disebaliknya? I just ...

Dated : 04th Feb 2011. 3months has passed.

June? Let's see.. I was reminded of a guy back during school days which i decided to look him up on facebook, google-d & everywhere. which now, i've already found him & his brother :D On the 18th of June, It was his birthday. i am literally broke like forever, didn't managed to get a cupcake as promise. it was kinda sad ); And a few days after his birthday, he was warded at TTSH. And it seems to be happening to him every year. And Maisarah & myself, found out that in a way. we are related as in cousins :p We became extremely close after that. We tend to stay after work, webcam-ing using camerio .

Been awhile since i updated (; On the 8th May'11 , Dearest gave in to me. We returned to Jurong just so i could celebrate Mothers' day there. And furthermore, i was missing everyone there <3 A few days after Mothers' day, 11th May'11 . Ayah was at A&E, NUH. I swore it hurts alot to talk to him on that day. How disappointed i felt for not able to be there. Some way along the way, i MIA from CSC ): And M1, causes problem for their customers and on the 24th may, it was free services for the whole day! (: Lastly to make the awesome month : 25th May11, We went to flyers and had ice-ball! and old school nasi-lemak.

That's me with US$1200++ First week of march , i started working back at my old work place which was allenbryans. The place i've had much fond memories back in 2008 , however it was the same without my lovely kakis : MieraBoncet & DylahSyg. And meanwhile after 6pm , i'll rush to CSC ; my 2nd home to work. I have to say it's pretty hectic for 2-3weeks. Now i'm pretty much settle in with the busy schedule from AllenBryans , CSC & Even the Course in PPIS (: I have to say i'm no superwomen cause i've caught the flu bug and the lack of sleep . Omg , i really wish that i could spend more time at home just simply sleeping or even spend time with dearest & Belle. And lastly, my ayah was warded for the second time in one month. im worried for him and i love him so much. Just recently, i visited him after sometime. He wasn't the man i knew he as ; My boncet ayah have lost so much weight and i can all pray to Allah SWT that he heal in time and may his ...

It has been 32 Months. Fair enough, we aren't the best of friends neither am i the best other-half you ever had. Yet, we stick it thru ' and we managed to pull thru ' for something we thought won't last. In sprite of the daily brawls & arguments, Thank You for being there even when you didn't want to. iLoveYou . - Ps : The recent event that had happened caused much pain & hurt. However, i hope you'll be able to forgive me in time to come ; insya'allah.

Chapter - Jan 2011 To be honest, the only thing that i remembered in this month was CMS. And we had to make a new year resoultion board which we used recycled materials from my arty-farty stuffs. Unfortunately, our team didn't win ; therefore we were pissed of at the judges for being biased. Lol. Chapter - Feb 2011 I had a advance Birthday cum V'day treat from dearest at Swensen and on the day of my Birthday which falls on the 3rd day of CNY ; 050211 . My dearest team 5 - stitch, gave me a surprise mini celebrations which was so super sweet of them. i was really blown away & i swore i've never had celebrate my birthday before. A week later, It was CMS - Theme : CNY with Lion Dance (: Chapter - Mar 2011 We gave our leader , Hazy ; a super advance birthday party. She was stunned and saying it's not yet her birthday. and furthermore, the planning was super choatic and very last minute of us. On 7th march , i started working back at Allenbryans as a Office Assist Cum ...

Oh dear me. the last entry was in decemeber 2010. I guess, im pretty much messed-up, Lol. Or maybe im just extremely busy for myself, families & friends. These days i find myself seeking comfort in almost things i thought i couldn't. Please don't assume otherwise, life now is pretty much adequate. Though there are times that i may not be happy. This is just parts and parcels of life, right? And i apologizes for not being in here often. Well, on the other hand ; you can always find me on my Tumblr, Twitter & Facebook (:

Today's CMS day , and the theme of the month is Xmas. But sadly, im not attending due to a family outing with dearest saiful and isabelle. We head over to Northpoint, Yishun, to catch 'Strawberry Shortcake' Show. As that was belle's cartoon character even before she was born. Upon reaching, saiful decided to head over to Levis to get a new pair of black jeans to go along with his latest jacket-to-be. We were sort of late for the show that we didn't managed to get a front row for belle. Still we sit through the show with belle switching seats on either my shoulders and saiful's shoulders. After the show, we head out to wendy's for lunch. Belle fell alseep halfway and we thought we should catch the show again and make sure this time round, belle got a seat. For myself, i managed to video the whole show that was about 30mins. Overall experience: Priceless.

Well, It's Hari Raya Haji. Therefore i wore my pink baju kurong to work as apart of the celebration that was happening in my head. Upon reaching CSC, i feel so awkward as i was the only one in traditional outfit. But soon, i was relived thanks to Hedayah for she too is in a pink baju kurong. Boy, was i glad! *Aik,Macam dah janji dalam mimpi!* After Work,dearest saiful decided to catch HP7 as it was just released on the day itself. Soon enough, he came in a cab and we headed over to The Cathay to catch the 11.55PM Show. And i was like,' Oh dear, Paisehnye pakai macam ni turun town! elly, Stop it ehk!' And Overall the movie was Cool! And that saiful is going to book the book due to anticipation of waiting for the next sequel that will be release next year in July!

- Love Songs or should i say songs these days, lyricist always have a way to somehow hit certain nerves that causes memories flashback. I'm so sorry but i didn't mean to abandon you, my dear blog . I've been busy with work and yar, It have been tough lately.

[ That's Belle bashing her piece of cake. and strawberry shortcake is her (: ] The Party was small and adequate. Dear decided to let her blow her candle off at 0956hours; the time she was born a year ago (: shortly after that we prepared ourselves to get down to the gig - Da'RapShoCase . baby sister met us up here in toa payoh before heading out to raffles place which was at the Arthouse. The whole gig was Cool & Awee-some to the max! apart from the fact that it was my first-ever Hiphop Gig (: and i was like , " Look , i know that girl from my school" and "hey, i like this song" + " Fatin, cute-cute kan the guys. Lol (: " And afterwhich we headed out, settle for mac as dinner and went back to Bedok - Baby sister' place. Watched ' My Name Is Khan ' i guess i did cried alittle and personally, i haven't seen a Hindi movie like forever.

heyhey readers. Current location : Work - CSC . and yar, so i was bored thus here i am (: In the next 3weeks time, Belle's official 1year old party and Yung Sz is performing at Da'RapShowCase. Which both falls on the 16th Oct 2010, Saturday and i'm taking off (: I'm so having the time of my life working here but i just need a better paying job hence i have a growing child. Anyway, i'm so waiting in anticipation for the 3rd Oct 2010, Sunday. Wohoo, can't wait to Camwhore (: Miss my family so much.

First of all , Selamat Hari Raya People (: Understood that is a far beyond due. There ain't much pictures this year. but wait till this 3rd Oct 2010. Jyeah , seriously i can't wait . i miss my dad and i really want meet my crazy looney little baby sister thats staying with her guy. All of the sudden , i had the urge to listen to Justin Bieber's songs . oh boy, memories that flashes back by - scene by scene . Say that J.B might be corny for a 15year old kid? Still that cute face and the voice.. And how far he have gone in the music industry and how much he sound different now. Thus far, the best songs that i like so much are : -Baby ft Ludacris. - Somebody to love ft Usher. -One Less Lonely. It's late, i should hit the sack now. sweet dreams (:

[ Sweet kan? (: kak wanie,hope u don't mind ] Firstly & Seriously, i envy kak Wanie & Hanafi ; the sweetest couples down at CSC. Just by reading kak wanie's blog and her latest photos of their outing so blew me away. And it reminds me so much of what we were to be back then. I miss those days when we were still courting each other and everything seems so sweet (: Oh well, in every relationship there are their own problems which we won't know about as an outsider. Tell me, isit possible to regain what was once lost?

It really didn't register in my head how people can change in an instance. There isn't any better way to express my tense-ness now at work & home. Couldn't people just freaking keep their mouths & attitude to themselves? Argh!! What a heartache.. I really don't understand ; what have i ever done to them that im treated as tho' i'm invisible. Please, i've got feelings for christ sake. FUCK IT, if this seem alittle too paranoid.